but i can see the fire's still alight 

seriously, what is up with me in the past few months? used to be that you couldn’t pry me away from my blog even you tried your hardest, and now lately... lately things have been rather quiet in my corner of the intar webs.

maybe it is just that i don’t really have anything interesting or personal to say. well, maybe. that could be a lie. i actually have had tons of thoughts stewing about, but like most, by the time i actually sit down to compose my thoughts, they all vaporize and float off into the ether, leaving me to sit dumbly in the tragedy that is wordlessness.

the same thing happens lately whenever i visit wikipedia. i have a huge laundry list of topics in my head that i am desperate to check to see if they have been wiki’d yet, and as soon as the site finishes loading (which is pretty damned fast when one is connecting at close to 4mbs), my mind goes blank and i end up getting lost in a trail from the front page into some random articles about slippery rails and autolysis. honestly, it is amazing how bizarrely random some of the paths you can take on wikipedia are. or how some seemingly unrelated topics end up to be quite connected with each other. i guess the information world is small as well.

thanksgiving was good. instead of bowing to tradition and carving up a giant dead bird to feast upon, we figured we should go get lost in newark for a half hour before finding the shelter that we were going to provide assistance for thanksgiving dinner. we ended up getting there in time to help out with the cleaning crew, and largely in part of the fact that nothing or nobody seemed totally organized, we kinda stumbled around trying to find things to do. in the end, i felt a bit cheated, because we didn’t really get to do a whole lot. it’s an interesting situation when all of the shelters and soup kitchens you call turn away people looking to volunteer because they have already too many hands to help out as it is.

the night before, an odd spell of rain brought along a nasty drop in barometric pressure, setting my sinuses into a frenzy of pain. it doesn’t help that i have been suffering from a rather nasty toothache the past several weeks, one that i am reluctant to visit the dentist over for fears that the resolution would require excavating half of my jaw and many hundreds of dollars of orthodontic work. really, I fucking hate going to the dentist. any time anybody has said that a particular procedure wouldn’t hurt, they were lying like fatherless bastards through their perfect teeth. bullshit my ass it won’t hurt. lemme just shove a drill bit through your skull and you tell me if it hurts or not.

my pain all came to a head on friday night, when after spending an extra three hours after closing at work hanging out in the fucking cold with some people on the benches of the nearby doughnut shop, i got home and put in a mouth guard i had purchased some weeks ago and have seldom used to help prevent myself from clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth whilst i sleep. ideally, it should have worked, but seeing as how I have an overbite worse than any groening character, all it did was oddly position my teeth so that some of them were grinding when others were not, and at this point there was hardly any relaxation when it came to what my jaw was planning on doing.

sometime around six am on saturday morning, with the muscles in my jaw and neck stretching and contracting so much that it felt like i was simultaneously being punched in the face and strangled, i jolted from my bed (the floor) to take some advil to relieve the pain. bad move. my blood sugar was beyond poor, having last eaten about twelve hours prior, and because i wasted no time in leaping up and scurrying about our frozen house, my blood pressure took a nosedive and i went into shock.

yeah, the kinda shock that one goes into after a traumatic injury like being shot or watching the view.

i began to shudder and shake like crazy, my mind went completely delirious, and i paced back and forth in the kitchen for about five minutes, wondering if i should wake up my parents or if i was going to die soon. waking up the rents prevailed over the alternative, and they set about burying me under blankets and heat pads while feeding me hot tea and soup in order to raise my body temperature. having calmed down, and after finally scoring a few hours of somewhat decent sleep, dad took me to the urgent care facility to get a prescription for muscle relaxant medication, so that i can actually go to sleep without worrying about my jaw clamping shut on me and making me wake up with all sorts of hideous mouth pain.

oh, hey. i guess i did have something to talk about, after all. and i even managed to resurrect a tiny amount of my usually fucked up syntax. huzzah!

later on today, after i get some sleep, i plan on running by best buy to pick up copies of clerks 2 and evening harder with kevin smith, and spending the afternoon basking in an orgy of all things view askew. it should be most glorious.

sitting here and writing this bit has made me long for the days when i couldn’t *stop* writing material to paste on up here, so perhaps i will make more of an effort to post.

i know that i always say that, and it usually ends up being a lie, but i suppose that tickling my keyboard could become a fairly enjoyable habit once more.

or will it?

  • 11.07.2006

    out of touch with the rhythm of my own reaction 

    yikes. i posted only *once* in the entire month of october.

    how disappointing of me.

    for those who expressed concern about my having to work on my birthday, i ended up calling in sick that night, which, ironically was the suggestion my boss extended. so, yeah. ended up driving to the city to meet up with masato and stacy for a late showing of “the prestige.” it was quite excellent. almost better than usual suspects, and i am a hardcore suspects fan.

    since my final car payment was in september, i have now been able to actually hold onto a paycheck instead of sadly watching from afar as it drifts gently up into the night sky, so i am totally glad about that. means that i can afford to drop little bits of cash here and there on what would otherwise normally be considered luxuries – dvd movie films, memory sticks for the camera, and other assorted knick-knacks that if i took a moment to think about, i probably don’t really need to get by in life.

    at the moment, an extended mix of “say it isn’t so” by hall & oates is playing in the background. before i began writing this post, i was watching the track “la villa strangiato” off the “rush in rio” dvd. yeah, i just totally name dropped. go me.

    over the past two or three months, i have developed an unhealthy obsession with the film “waiting…(.)” i don’t think i have fallen this deeply in love for a movie since “clerks.(.)”

    (the reason for the periods being surrounded by parenthesis is due to both of those films having either periods or ellipses in their titles)

    seriously, i have probably watched “waiting…” a good forty times by now. something about it just grabs me. not sure. it probably has a lot to do with vanessa lengies and kaitlin doubleday, since they are both smoking hot.

    at any rate, yesterday david and i trekked back up to the foley stage at the school to work on more sound stuff for land of entrapment. sadly, we hit a bit of a snag before we even got started – some tool had completely re-wired the control room and didn’t bother to leave a note stating what had been changed, so it took us a good three hours before we were able to straighten it all out and get things working again. i wasn’t all that happy at having lost so much time, but checking out the righteous student bodies at the cafeteria when we went there for lunch helped make things a bit better.

    after that, we were able to get quite a bit done. as far as foley footsteps go, we have only half of a reel left to do, and then we have a few instances of minor sound effects to record on the stage. hopefully we only need one more trip to the studio, since, while i do like hanging out in a recording studio, i want to get the sound work for loe over with.

    tonight we have our holiday planning meeting for work, and we have a lot of noobs that need to be edumacated on what to expect for the next two months, and then i work until closing after that. *then* i come back at seven am in the morning time, to work a full eight fucking hour shift. i rightly expect i shall be quite exhausted by tomorrow afternoon, and i would totally nap until south park comes on later that night, but since we had to cancel expanded cable due to the ‘rents being in a bit of a monetary tight spot, i’ll hafta wait a couple days and just download the episode off of iTunes.

    more shall be posted soon, promise.

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