it's been so long since i held ya' 

you ever have those times, every now and then, where your mind just really does have too much to focus upon and think about that you find your brain is a giant scattered mess?

where you have so much going on that you don’t even know where to begin or how to sort out the details and make sense of all the constant mental chatter?

that’s about the situation that i find myself in a lot lately.

which absolutely sucks, because as you can plainly see, my blog is totally suffering directly as a result of this issue. i do in fact have tons and tons of stuff to say... i just have no fucking clue as to what point i should pick as a starting zone.

do you guys honestly want to hear about the rather unpleasant situation with one of my wisdom teeth? probably not.

or how about an elaboration as to why i have used the term "spooky gravy" lately? nah. you wouldn’t want to hear about that.

what then of the now hundreds of ideas and projects that are roaming through my brain and attempting to steal my attention? no... you’ll hafta wait to check out some of those delightful bouts of inspired creativity at some point in the near future.

i’m sure that some of you are still eager to learn more about ashley’s recent visit to the bay area and what she and i were up to while she was here. obviously i need to fill you in a bit more on all of that, but i keep realizing that such a narrative is likely to span ten or more pages, which would more than make up for my two week plus absence from the world of blog, but at the same time, end up being far too lengthy for most people to hold interest in. perhaps i shall break it all up into smaller installments that are more pleasing for the drastically short attention spans that the television generation has been graced with.

from the top, then.

oddly enough, i was not nervous at all about meeting ashley. from the moment i left the house to the time i saw her walking around the corner through the terminal (and i recognized her immediately – thanks in part to a camera phone picture she sent me earlier that morning before she got on her first flight), it all just felt like i was meeting up with somebody i have known a long time. during the wait in the airport, i did get a might impatient, however. every ten seconds or so, i looked down at my watch, and since that particular wing of the terminal didn’t happen to have any flight information screens, i could only use the online flight tracker information i had checked just before leaving as a guide as to whether or not her plane had touched down yet.

in order to keep myself from staring down at my watch so much, and also to distance myself from a rather creepy older gentlemen who happened to move closer to where i was standing every moment, i popped out the ipod and started listened to some soundgarden.

didn’t really need it, since before the first track was over, a throng of passengers emerged from the jetway, and just as i got my earbuds wrapped up and stored in my pocket, ashley was getting close enough for me to call out her name. she walked over to me, her whole face lit up brilliantly with a perfect smile, and after staring at each other for a moment, we embraced and kissed.

after that, everything became a wonderful blur over the next seven days. though i am still able to recall nearly all of the specific details, i figure this is a good stopping point in the recollections of her visit... in order to, as the saying goes... "keep you coming back for more."

but at least you know now that i am in fact still alive, and do intend most fully to continue with this blog.

just gotta sort through the neural flotsam cruising around in my mind.

  • 3.29.2006


    there is a new blog post on its way.




  • 3.14.2006

    sleep will not come to this tired body now 

    before we begin, i must apologize. i’m not nearly the great poet writer that some others are, but i figured that i might as well try my hand at knocking out at least one poem for ashley. while this is meant primarily for her, i feel the need to share it out in the open with others as a show of how much i care for her. here goes (hopefully this doesn’t totally suck ass):

    who would have thought...

    ...that cheese tacos could be a royal feast?

    ...that the ocean could be any more incredible?

    ...that simple things like driving to the store could be so wonderful?

    ...that the music i listen to is twice as good as i thought it was?

    ...that the touch of a kindred spirit is everything?

    and much more, simply because you were here beside me, to share and enjoy our world. you enhance everything in life and amplify it to the point of overwhelmingness.

    i think, and reflect; upon these

    ...how one week can feel like hardly an hour...

    ...how your smile warms my heart and lights up the room...

    ...how you have such a remarkably loving soul...

    ...how amazing it will be when you and i are living together in a few months.

    i pray that you make it home safe, and that the rest of the week brings you and i good news.

    i love you, ashley.

    thank you for loving me.

  • 3.06.2006

    we only stop for the best 

    as i write this, ashley is currently at thirty-eight thousand feet above the state of colorado, roughly two hours away from the airport that i am gonna pick her up in.

    and the thing i am most nervous about is paying off the motel room.

    go figure that, eh?

    unfortunately, her connecting flight in atlanta took off close to an hour after it was supposed to, so where i would have been leaving on my way to the airport right about now, i’m gonna hold off for another half hour since her flight is due in a good forty-five minutes beyond the original schedule.


    as i was typing that last paragraph, the schedule function on my cell phone went off to let me know to head out and pick her up. i figure in another few seconds, my outlook scheduler will follow suit and alert me to my impending fate.

    aye, but that is what this is, right? fate? destiny?

    i’m not so sure about any of those, since over the last year i have had more than enough questions and experiences to throw the concept of fate and destiny straight out the window.

    and yet, at the same time... i maintain that pretty much everything happens for a reason. we may not always know the meanings and the why, but there you have it. things happen. just as everybody said they would.

    ok. hold the phone. i am getting way too philosophical again.

    all i do know for now is that in a few hours, i will come face to face with a young woman who has declared many times that she loves me.

    and when she and i do finally meet, we all will find out just how real that love truly is.

    cheers, mates.

    i’ll letcha know how everything goes.

    ...or not. :-p

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