capture my thoughts, carry them away 


i guess it has been a while since i have posted, huh?

what can i say? ashley has been occupying my time and thoughts a lot lately.

a lot. :-p

at times, i wonder if this is all but a dream. or that maybe my imagination is acting up. to some degree, i can not believe how wonderful this is. overwhelming.

rather than go on and on by detailing you on how much i look forward to the first time that she and i kiss, i have a question to pose to you all.

what the fuck happened to mega m&ms???? they ran ads for them for a while, where a guy in an office cubicle throws a giant m&m up in the air and tries to catch it in his mouth, only to have it smack him in the head instead. at one point, john o’hurley (j. peterman for you seinfeld fans) of 'dancing with the stars fame' was the official spokesperson for the candy, much as his voice is now the identity of many "jack" and "max" fm radio stations.

so where are the damn things?

i have never once found them in any store, and anytime that i ask about them, all i get are blank stares from people thinking i am a complete looney toon.

am i the only person who remembers these?

or has my imagination totally gone off the deep end this time?

(just checked m&m's website, they do indeed have a section for them… funky)

i will hopefully have an audio blog post available soon, as well as other "surprises" in the near future...

  • 1.18.2006

    we come into the world and take our chances 

    at first i wasn’t gonna say anything, but i made my decision – what the hell. this is what friends are for, right? punishing each other! bwahahaha!

    by that i mean, that i want you all to go and wish monica a wonderfully happy birthday today. i won’t betray her by stating her age, but a few hints for you: there are two digits to her age, and both are the same number. three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceedith to three.

    five is right out.

    hopefully, i’ll have some good news concerning ashley and i in the semi-near future...

    keep praying for us. we need some magic worked here.

    and stay tuned...

  • 1.13.2006

    i kept rolling on and never thought you'd wind up chasing me 

    my life it seems would be a few degrees from being complete were it not riddled with obstacles.

    i suppose that is what helps to make existence interesting; things hardly ever go as we envision. or in a way that makes any degree of sense to us.


    that is her name.

    by no means is she herself an obstacle. perhaps i worded that all incorrectly, and upon closer inspection will need to rephrase things a bit.

    she is a wonderfully beautiful, fragile creature of incredible spirit and beauty.

    and she lives on the opposite end of the country from me.

    it would seem that if things are to work between her and i, there is a lot that has to be overcome. sacrifice. compromise. patience. all of these will undoubtedly come into play. that much is naturally a given. i’m willing to invest every last effort that is necessary.

    for the past week now, she and i have talked with each other on the phone every evening – conversations that average a minimum of three hours. sometimes we have a thousand things to say, and other times… we simply listen to the sound of each other breathing. her voice is heavenly, and for reasons i may never fully understand, she is enthralled with mine. and despite her having seen several pictures of me, she still is infatuated. it boggles my mind, really.

    the chemistry that she and i are fostering over the phone is overwhelming to say the least. it is this magic that makes me yearn to meet her in person – to see if this same connection exists when she and i are face to face. very little of me feels that it would fail to manifest itself. and should it prove to be even stronger when she and i stand together in each other’s company, i believe that i would question how there could possibly be anybody else meant for me.

    my mind is literally drowning in thought. over the last six months, that was more of a curse, as i struggled to make sense of all that i was going through. even now, i still feel infinitely embarassed to have carried on as i did with regards to monica. it makes me ashamed that i could have been such a dramatic fool.

    but now the thoughts that course and swirl through my head are delightful ones. hints of possibilities and musings on what the future holds for us.

    but, like i said… there are obstacles. the distance of course is one of the most major factors hindering our romantic advancement. annoyingly persistent obligations to our respective employers is another. and still… there are other issues, some that will be shared with you in their own time, that are going to make the next several months very emotionally tough on both of us.

    audience participation time: as some wise people have previously intoned, anything good is worth fighting for. as well as waiting for. the fact still remains though, that sometimes more assistance is required. the prayers and well wishes of those we know will definitely serve to help make things a lot easier. so, if it is not too much to ask of you, we will need all the support we can get.

    it is going to be so awesome when she and i finally get to be together.

    you’ll definitely get to hear all about it.

    well... *almost* all about it. ;-)

  • 1.10.2006

    lighting up my unconscious, and the secret places of the heart 

    as some of you noticed, i dangled a bit of a hook out in front of you with that last blog post by mentioning that i had had an awesome phone call recently. that awesome phone call has blossomed into *several* awesome phone calls.

    i don’t want to divulge too much at the moment, because frankly i don’t want to jinx this. my head is also swimming so insanely, that i’m not even sure that what i have to say would make sense to anybody else. what i can tell you is that in the past couple of weeks, i have been in communication with a very enchanting, sweet, and adorable young woman. every conversation has become better than the last, and the connection that we are fostering is incredibly intoxicating. that’s about all i wish to share of recent developments at this time.

    for now, all else i have to say is this: if you would be so kind, i beseech you that your prayers be with this good fortune that i have been somehow lucky enough to stumble across as it continues to manifest itself, and that what i hope will come true in fact eventually does.

    it has been quite some time since i have felt this happy and full of joy. i strongly pray that this is not a false alarm.

    you can be sure that you will all hear about the details of this in due time. for now, let me gather my thoughts, and do my damndest not to fuck things up.

  • 1.06.2006

    we got into a serious thing, and then i forgot how that song ended 

    i’m glad to see that my first audio blog was well received. you guys have convinced me – i will make another. maybe it will become a weekly thing. not sure just yet. you’ll definitely get to hear my voice some more.

    sorry to disappoint you, spring; it will be a while before you get a *video* blog entry. and even when that does happen, we all know that i am long winded, so the file will probably be obscenely huge.

    we’ll see.

    anyways. i toldja guys that i had another gift for ya. check it out:

    the first piece of art from me for 2006

    well, technically it was started in 2005, but i finished it on new year’s day. so, yeah. enjoy! hopefully this year brings lots more artwork for you guys, some more music stuff for me, and way more awesome phone calls like the one i had last night...

  • 1.02.2006

    and the voice rings in his ears, like the music of the spheres 

    while talking with spring online the other night, i started toying with the idea of putting together an audio post for my blog to start off the new year. normally i wouldn’t ever dream of doing something so foolish, as i positively can not stand to hear the sound of my own voice when recorded and then played back, but she seemed persistent in her demands that i at least say *something* into a microphone for my readers to hear what i sound like.

    so, here it is:

    01-02-2006.mp3 (4.46mb)

    sorry about the large file size – i attempted to compress it down as much as i could until just before the point where my voice began to sound *truly* atrocious, but even still i ended up with a file almost five megabytes in size. hopefully most of you have broadband access, and downloading this shouldn’t take too long. the file is in mp3 format, encoded in mono at a sampling rate of 96kbs, so it should play back without any trouble in pretty much every standard audio program available (i.e., winamp, iTunes, or windows media player). why should anybody care about those specific details? don’t ask me, i just felt compelled to share that information with you.

    since you get this little treat now, i’ll hold off for a couple days on giving you guys the *other* gift that i have in store for you. hey, i gotta have *some* gimmick to lure people into checking back here later on in the week. :-p

    hope you enjoy!

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