dreams are sometimes catching; desire goes to my head 

our first shoot is over with.

and i hurt like a motherfucker.

ideally we wanted to start shooting sometime next week. however, as i had illustrated a few posts ago, a particular location's availability was coming into question and thus we had one night to shoot all of the scenes there.

in six hours, we managed to do seven camera setups (different angles) for three different scenes, and got through eleven pages of script.

the crew we had was magnificent.

earlier in the day, craig and i were running errands and decided to stop into lee's chinese fast food, a restaurant owned and operated by the parents of a good friend of ours that collapsed dead on all hallow's eve four years ago. i had never been to the place before and felt a desire to go there. it was very surreal. craig and i sat at the table that him and buping (our deceased commrade) used to frequent all the time after classes when they were in high school.

his mother still works there. they had incredible food, and a cool fountain off in the corner of the place.

at some point while i'm here, i intend to go and visit `ping's grave in order that i pay my proper respects.

the shoot started a bit late; it took us some time to get all the extras organized and up to speed with what they needed to be doing. we had already worked out some of the lighting setups for several scenes and had fiddled around with the audio to make sure we got everything working the way we needed it to be before most of the people showed up on set.

sometime around midnight we had to break while waiting for the alarm to go off, and our location manager to go shut it off. it was at this point that we realized this shoot was going to go way long.

around three in the morning we stopped for a pizza break and to get ready for the last shoot of the night - ironically one of the most pivitol scenes in the entire film. luckily the exhaustion worked in our favor to help bring out richer emotional response in our actors and we're fairly sure that we got enough satisfactory material that we can work with in editing.

seventy nine more pages to go...

i didn't get to bed until six this morning. sometime around eight or nine my ankle spasmed and the resulting charley horse shot me out of bed with a deluge of profanity and desperate attempts at stretching to make the pain go away.

it's now ime to go have some early evening dinner and pass out before ten or so in the hopefully non-futile goal of trying to get my sleeping patterns not so out of whack.

  • 7.29.2004

    pride reduced to humble pie, diamonds down to sand 

    crunch time now.

    i really should be going to bed, but figured i'd pop on for a moment or two and post.

    we've got a full day ahead of us, and a very long evening.  we don't start our location shoot until ten pm, and likely won't be ending until at least two or three am.  wish us luck that things go well.

    it's really quite an amazing thing to see something you've spent months and months planning, developing, and writing come alive through the collaboration of so many people.

    to witness characters that hardly a month ago were little more than ideas on paper transform into independent, fully articulated portrayals.

    quite mind blowing, really.

    there's a few lines of dialogue in the script that originally started off as nothing more than a completely unrelated conversation between craig and i back in december.  craig liked the content well enough and so wrote it into the screenplay thinking it would make for interesting screen fodder.

    hearing the cast re-enact that conversation gave me goosebumps.  to think, i inspired the words that they were reciting.


  • 7.28.2004

    i'm not one to believe in magic 

    the first full cast read through went really well.  everybody seems to more or less understand their character and how to go about portraying them in the best way.

    and although our actresses are all cute, craig has wisely stated a "no cast/crew sleeping around" order to myself and the other crew.  which does make sense, seeing as how sex is one of the biggest things that could totally fuck this whole project up.

    ironic, given that the major catalyst in this story that gets everything moving and causes all the trouble *is* sex.

    we have a bit of a serious scheduling snafu on our hands.  we ideally were going to start shooting sometime next week; however, we have to push to get a mid-story sequence filmed and out of the way since the particular location's availability becomes non-existant after saturday.

    hence thursday is gonna be a madhouse day.  er, night, really.  we were hoping to have more time to prepare for things (especially since one of the scenes that has to be shot in this tight schedule is a KEY scene to the plot), but again we just gotta make do and hope that it all turns out alright.

    if you guys could actually say like a small prayer about that, or think warm happy thoughts for us, our appreciation factor would be 9.0 on the kick-ass scale.

    craig and i just got done viewing "snatch," after having spent a couple hours playing pool with one of our lead actors and another good pal of craig's. 

    this cast is gonna rock the house.  i am serious.  my only hope now is that i can do these talented performers as much justice possible by making them look as great as they can on film.

    pray for that too, please.

    time to go kick craig out of the production office (aka, my bedroom) and get a few hours of shut eye before we have to scramble in the am.

  • 7.27.2004

    you can twist perceptions, reality won't budge 

    first day has been badass.

    i've already spent way more money than i technically should have.

    eh, fuck it.  we only live once, right?

    it's odd - i haven't been back to albuquerque in over eleven years, and yet various different locations and streets are popping up in my head as if i had been by all these places in the last week or so.  which i haven't.

    you would think i would get used to just remembering various shit from all the different cities i have lived in, but nope.  it still feels like some wicked repressed deja vu or some shit like that.

    after gathering up a bunch of somewhat neccessary items all over town for the house, craig and i joined his parents for dinner at this pretty kick ass restaurant called "the fire station." craig seems to think i was copying his order verbatim, but in reality, i was waiting to see if anybody else would order the expensive steak so that i wouldn't feel as bad about ordering it myself.

    the place had a wicked hard cider too.  i think we're gonna be stocking up on hard cider in addition to what we already have in the fridge.  which also includes this *incredible* fresh squeezed orange juice (i.e., the machine presses the oranges while you wait/fresh).

    when we were done with dinner, a group of craig's friends and myself all headed to the sunshine theater in downtown albuquerque to check out reverend horton heat.  damn.  i'm getting myself a double-kick pedal for my drumkit when i get back home in a month or so.

    and now i can't hear out of my right ear at all.

    i am such a fucking retard.  like, seriously i got major issues. 

    there were several girls that seemed to be expressing quite an interest in me at the concert.  like the girl who stood right in front of me and kept shaking and dancing really close to me.  several times, she intentionally pushed her ass into me.  that was way cool.

    what *wasn't* way cool was the fact that i had no idea what to do from there.  this stems from my lack of dating/social experience that i should have developed back during high school but for some stupid reason or other did not.

    i couldn't have talked to her - we were about twenty feet from the stage which basically ruled out being able to hear *anybody* other than the three musicians that were crafting perfection on stage and rapidly destroying our abilities to hear.

    there were a couple other girls that i happened to notice that were all checking me out, and acting interested like.  sadly, nothing developed with any of them either.


    well, as craig pointed out, this is only my first night here.  he says there will be other opportunities.

    we'll see.

  • 7.26.2004

    i look down into a million houses, and wonder what you're doing tonight 

    both of the flights were good.

    albuquerque is actually only a two hour flight away from san jose, but since southwest doesn't fly direct, you hafta transfer in los angeles, making the whole exchange take six hours.

    on the first flight, there were *tons* of hot married girls by themselves.  i'm wondering if maybe there was a "hot married girl" convention up in my area or something.

    the second flight only had like forty people in the entire plane, but sitting (of course) just three rows back from me was an obnoxious mom with her very newborn baby.  i don't mind babies crying on flights (that's what the headphones and iPods are there for) but about five minutes into the flight, the mom fell asleep and the baby unloaded the most rancid smelling pile into it's diaper.

    i mean, it was *bad.*

    so bad in fact, that the flight attendants had to wake her up to go take her baby to the lavatory to change.  they let her go to the bathroom before the fasten seat belt sign was off, that was how urgently they wanted it taken care of.  god bless flight attendants.

    and to think, they actually had to stop the woman from just changing the diaper right there at her fucking seat.

    somewhere over arizona, we passed over a huge storm system, and the lightning underneith the clouds kept lighting up the sky in a very surreal way.  there were some passengers that were freaking out about the lighting (not many, and they were handling it pretty well) but i was totally loving every second of it.

    i can't wait until the first thunderstorm while i'm here.

    anyways.  craig and i have seriously a billion errands to run, so i'll catch ya all later and letcha know what the haps is.

  • 7.25.2004

    the evening plane rises up from the runway, over constellations of light 

    omg omg omg!

    i leave for the airport in an hour.

    and i'm *still* not completely packed.

    i suppose i should go do that, huh?

    yeah, that would be a good idea.

    before i go though, i want you guys all to go and visit kbear for me.  she has a great way with words, and she's also a phenomenal singer (she has an audio post where she is singing to her nana). 

    spread the love.  :-)

    meanwhile, i gotta go make sure i only forget two thirds of the things i need to take to new mexico.

    peace out.  next post is from albuquerque, baby!  wh00!

    film-making time!!!

  • 7.24.2004

    don't ask me; i'm just improvising 

    last day at work was... interesting.

    thankfully i didn't get any majorly irrate or pissed off people on the phone.

    my cubicle neighbor got them instead. 

    and was sent home for losing his temper with a customer.

    dinner was cool - originally it was supposed to be a large group of people that eventually got widdled down to just four by the time we left work.  this actually ended up working out well, because all four of our orders were brought out correct the first time, and we didn't have to have umpteen billion checks or have somebody collect all the money and get stuck with the bill after realizing there wasn't enough to cover the tab.

    i always hate that about eating with large groups of people - there is never enough money and everybody skips out before this fact is discovered.

    except for when i am hanging out with the youth band from washington state.  we always end up having *way more* money than is needed.

    which is cool.

    the dinner was good.  all four of us talked about work; reflected on past events and co-workers, and then mused about the future that they all face.  in some ways, it's not a very pretty one.

    hopefully the future i have chosen to embark upon will be.

    craig and i discovered that the submission deadline to enter sundance `05 is exactly two months from today.  i dunno if we can make that cut-off in time, but if we don't, it gives us an opportunity to create a buzz and stir up support for our film over the next year.

    and beleive me, i intend to make one hell of a buzz.

    masato brought over a kick ass resin anime figure for me as a gift for good luck with the film.  sweet.

    i also picked up a ten channel audio mixer (less than seventy bucks!) at leo's today while picking up more miniDV tape stock.  also got a free leo's shirt.

    there are still a billion things for me to do.  pray that they all get done before i have to head to the airport tomorrow night.

    i got to sleep in saturday morning.  prolly the last time that i get to do that for a while...

    after dinner at cameron's in half moon bay with the family on saturday night, we drove past miramar to check out the waves.  it's gonna be odd being landlocked for so long.  i've pretty much grown so accustomed to being near an ocean that the last time i headed a far distance inland (vegas), my equilibrium was thrown off and i felt disoriented for a while.

    time is going by way too fast.  i gotta go see if i can reclaim at tiny fraction of it.

    getting close.....

  • 7.23.2004

    this moment may be brief, but it can be so bright 

    finally, all the loud people have left the house.

    my brother had a bunch of friends over to watch mad max on dvd.  unfortunately for me they started at eleven pm and just now finished, meaning i couldn't go to sleep since they were all howling and hollering.

    ahhh... peace and quiet.

    so the day is now upon me.  officially, it's already my last day at work, but i digress - it's only tomorrow until after i wake up in the morning.

    yeah, i've concluded that sticking me near that girl is quite literally torture.

    let's think about it - she's everything that a geek like myself could want.

    she plays video games.  hardcore games, like quake and unreal tourny.  she can fare extremely well, too; kicking most guy's asses.  she loved the gta series.

    she is an artist.  she knows 3dsmax, maya, and lightwave inside and out.  her artwork is killer.

    she belches and makes rude noises.  funny, highly entertaining noises (for those of us who are still stuck with middle school senses of humor) that always seem so alien yet powerfully cool to be coming from a girl.

    she has quite the body.  as in, she's hot.  and she knows it. 

    becca had stated in a comment here the other day that she wondered if guys really do notice when a girl bends over to pick something up.

    oh, yeah.

    we notice.

    the girl loves anime and futurama.  everything that a guy thinks would be ideal in a girl, she is.

    and i can't have her.

    friday night after work a group of us are getting together to go have dinner for my last day in the department.  that should be interesting.

    there will be that happy/sad feeling where your insides feel like somebody set your organs to puree and you don't know if you want to laugh or vomit.  i seem to be feeling that way a lot in the last few years.

    i can't begin to explain just how excited i am that i'm actually going to hopefully make craig and mine's dream come true.  this will be the first time i attempt anything of this magnitude in my life.

    well... let's go do this thing.  wish me well.

    i promise not to tell customers to fuck off on my last day....

  • 7.22.2004

    rose is a rose of splendor; posed to respond in the end 

    four more days until i leave for albuquerque.

    two more days of having to listen to people bitch about how the brand new computer they bought three years ago should be able to run every current game.

    four more days and i'll be hanging out with craig.

    two more days and some good friends/co-workers and i will be hanging out and playing pool after my last day at work.

    four more days and i still have tons and tons of shit to do.  i made up a list but i couldn't remember anything to put on it, until it was too late to do some of the things i needed to.

    two more days and i won't get to eat those awesome french fries anymore.

    four more days and our local tv networks seem to be airing a cable access advertisement war between two rival crappy mexican restaurants.  both of the places have awful food, and their commercials look as if they were produced for under five dollars a piece.  but they seem to be in direct competition with each other for the title of "shittiest fucking commercials evar."

    two more days and i will be unemployed again.

    four more days, and the next chapter in my life begins.

  • 7.21.2004

    black wind falling to the ocean floor 

    tuesday morning was very strange. 

    for the first time in a long time, i was actually aware when my alarm clock disturbed my slumber; a moment of disorientation passed and i pointed my flash light over to my watch to make sure i hadn't set the display on my alarm clock to a different mode.

    it was still six am, so i went back to sleep as i normally do.  and woke up at seven thirty.  ten minutes later than i should have.

    ten minutes makes a large difference when you've got less than a half hour to get dressed, ready, and get to work in time to get bitched at by morons.

    as is my standard reaction whenever waking up late, i immediately lept out of bed and scurried about trying to get on my way.  doing so usually means that the night's worth of dreams are negated to being lost in a swirling void.

    it also means that any effects of my body recovering from the previous day during the four or five hours of rest are instantly zapped away and i spend the rest of the day in a downwards spiral from lacking energy.

    the first forty minutes of my day at work were spent moving my desk over to the other side of the department.  they finally cleared out space for us, and we had to shlep all of our stuff across the building.

    i'm now sitting directly across from that one girl that once asked me for a ride home when i totally botched any hope of getting with her by saying i wasn't available to (this was before i found out she had a bf).  i think they're doing this to torture me on my last four days at work.

    most of the day, she would stand when answering calls, and she would bend over her keyboard tray just slightly.   while i was arguing with complete asshats and dumbfucks throughout the rest of the day over the phone, i went slightly mad from the very yummy temptation that was just four feet away.

    damn my eyes.

    but at least the cafeteria finally cleaned out their grease traps *and* replaced the oil.  so i get to enjoy those awesome french fries as they should be for my last few days at the company.

    hooray for small miracles.

    there is a ton of shit that i have to do and my mind keeps putting those items off due to other distractions and obligations.  it's a shame i didn't get an appointment with a doctor in time to get diagnosed before having to leave for new mexico; there is no way i'll see a doctor and begin a medication while away from home.

    basically i just gotta get my shit in gear and put together a list of things that *have* to be done before i can think about getting on the plane.

    i suppose the fact that time seems to be accelerating at an alarmingly exponential rate doesn't help me in the slightest.

  • 7.20.2004

    all of us do time in the gutter; dreamers turn to look at the cars 

    in the words of the immortal copywritten orange tabby - i hate mondays.
    the call volume has been steadily increasing over the last few months.  thankfully, i don't have to worry about it in four days.  but it looks to be like it's going to get far worse than it could ever get better.
    today was yet another new record - 1182 calls.  just shy of twelve hundred.  that's a *lot* of people calling.  in one day. 
    despite getting more than enough sleep over the weekend, i was exhausted by mid afternoon.
    somewhere during the call with the woman that sounded like fran drescher, i began drifting off to sleep.  i never actually lost consciousness; i was still aware and my eyes were open.
    mentally though, i was a thousand miles away.  1076.26 miles to be exact.
    i had an interesting dream last night.  after clearing security checkpoints, i was walking down the gangway from an airport to a plane.  as i reached my aisle and sat down, i began panicking as i realized that i had forgotten to bring any luggage.
    then the dream switched to me standing in a fenced in plot of concrete.  a couple of extreme hot girls wearing tank tops and panties walked by, around the fence, and towards another airplane that appeared to be sitting in the middle of the tarmac. 
    it would figure.  just when the dream was starting to get better, i woke up and headed off for work. 

  • 7.19.2004

    run to light from shadow; sun gives me no rest 

    so this is the last week.
    it's odd to keep returning to this same moment in time; when you know that several major events are impending.
    the last time i worked in tech support, my contract expired the week before i was to go and be a projectionist at the western states youth gathering in san jose.  that particular term i served all the way through for six months; the last week was also the same week we were a host family for the guitarists of that youth band from washington state (first time we met them).
    it worked out beautifully.  i finished my contract and then went off to spend a week with seriously the coolest youth you can find.
    this time, i've prematurely ended my term and am again almost immediately whisking off to another major event.  at least one thing is consistent; if only for a short while in time, i move on from customer service to much bigger and better opportunities.
    hopefully this endeavor in new mexico will be just as satisfactory as the youth gathering was.  i have a good feeling that it should be.
    after watching a bit of the shining on my laptop (finally got the damned dvd software to install and *almost* run properly), i'm reminded of a book that i read in elementary school whose name currently eludes me.
    some details:  it was about these two brothers and their two dogs.... either the boys or the dogs had red hair, although i'm thinking more that it was the dogs.  towards the last third or so of the story, the boys go out hunting and one of the brothers trips and falls on top of his axe, effectively killing himself on accident. 
    for the life of me, i can't remember what the fuck the book was called.  if any of you out there can aid me in refreshing my memory, i'd be more than obliged. 
    once i get to albuquerque, i shall maintain more or less frequent blogging as craig is having cable broadband installed tomorrow at the place we are renting and will have online access.  sad as it may be to say, most times i can not possibly exist without some hardline connection to the world wide web.
    like a borg that's cut off from the hive mind of the collective, i become lost, disoriented, and frightened when i lack the glorious resources that the intarweb offer.  plus, i gotta keep up to date with all of your blogs.
    although, i have been known to go for up to three weeks with no internet.  mind you, towards the end of that hiatus, i began experiencing terrible withdrawl and had been typing very disturbing thoughts on a lone typewriter in the middle of an empty room.
    during production of the film, we will be posting updates galore (hopefully, if we're not zombie-dead tired at the end of each day) that will be available at www.505films.com.  i'm not sure if i'm gonna mirror my blog posts from that site onto here, or if you'll get a slightly different perspective here at the chinchilla.
    guess you're just gonna hafta stay tuned and keep checking to see what love i bring ya.

  • 7.17.2004

    pound the streets with marching feet 

    nbc can go fuck itself.
    for the first time in like forever, conan o'brien got behind the drums and switched places with max weinberg.  you wouldn't know it, but conan is actually a super badass drummer, with pretty slick chops.
    however, just as conan sat down on the drum throne, nbc's signal went out and didn't come back until conan was ending his set.  i flipped quickly through the neighboring channels to see if all of the cable had gone out - nope.  just nbc.
    i can safely state that this was not intentional... they kept losing their signal during the commercial break as well and dropping out.  fuck.
    and there was no chocolate milk today for lunch.  :-(
    but i bring you storyboards.  er, samples from them anyways
    page 1
    page 7
    they are quite awesome.  masato did a great job, and i know he'll do a wonderful job on all the rest of them as well.
    dude.  i have my flight reservation for next sunday night.  omg.  this is actually happening.
    is this actually happening?

  • 7.16.2004

    feedback; resonate 

    not much to say at the moment. 
    except that we now have a storyboard artist.  a kickass one at that.
    which is great, because frankly my hand drawn stuff looks *like* ass. 
    i haven't hand drawn a lot in the last three years, so i've pretty much lost what little ability i had to draw people that there was.  thankfully, masato seems more than capable of interpreting my poorly illustrated blobs, and rendering quite astonishing realizations in just minutes flat.
    friday will be a crunch time, as we have to get a shitload of these done during work and then send them off to craig an hour after we get out of work.  it's gonna be really hectic, but i am strongly hoping that we can get this done and out the door by the deadline.
    with craig and masato's permission, i just may post a sampling of the storyboard art for you all to drool over.  it's really good.  the stuff that masato drew, i mean.
    not my drawings. 
    you don't get to see those artistically lacking abominations under the Lord.  i shall not be mocked for poor hand drawrings.
    now to shower at one thirty am and pass out soon after.
    or not.

  • 7.14.2004

    everything turns in synchronous relation  

    a few things of note real quick before i completely lose total awareness of the waking world and slip off into a mystical dimension of sugar and mountains:

    this week or next, at work they are moving all of our desks around. we're all losing the large amounts of desk space we currently have and are being crammed into smaller cubicles. they're trying to consolidate the available floor space right now, which so far as i can ascertain has no real plan behind it.

    it's one of those "management needs to change something so it looks like they are making changes and being proactive" kinda things. i personally like to adhere to the "if it ain't fucking broke don't fix it" methodology of business.

    but hey, that's just me.

    which is another reason i'm glad to be leaving next week. this actually marks the end of a much larger era, because all of support will be only on one side of the building from now on; unlike our current setup where we are spread out across two sides of the building. even back in our darkest hours four years ago, when they were threatening to bunch us all over on the light side (see below), they always stopped short and never actually followed through on their plans.

    this time, they are. so, two people at a time, we have to sign off our phones, gather up *all* the stuff at our desk, haul it all over to our new cube assignments, plug everything back in and dump our stuff off to the side, and pick up the slack while two other people begin moving their stuff. i will go on record as saying this is one of the stupidest fucking things we are being asked to do. i am so not looking forward to having to do this.

    at work there are two sides to our department, the light side and the dark side. i currently sit on the dark side, which means that in the afternoon, the sun isn't facing us; in addition, our air conditioners work, and since our area is smaller, it's more peaceful, quiet and gentle atmosphere. it helps us to keep our sanity when dealing with complete dumbasses over the phone. the dark side originally got it's name because we would keep our the lights off during work hours. like trolls in dungeons, we sat only by the light flickering from our monitors, and life was good. they've since mandated that all the lights hafta be on, but even still our side is way more bitching than the light side.

    the light side on the other hand is a large expanse of row after row of desks, which is really noisy and frantic. people have gone so far as to construct additional wall extensions consisting of video game product boxes that sit on top of the cube walls in order to block out the sound. four years ago when i worked there for my first time, i sat on the light side for a month and hated every second of it. i couldn't focus or concentrate with all the noise that was going on (sixty people all talking on the phone at once will do that) and the air conditioners on that side of the building have never worked. toss in the fact that the entire span of the west wall is floor to ceiling windows which the sun beats down through all afternoon, and you get very unpleasant working conditions. average mean temperature on the dark side is usually in the sixties; on the light side it's about ninety or so.

    the other thing that's happened, and this just really blows my goat, is that the cafeteria has either switched their french fry brands, or they *really* need to completely clean out the deep frier. or empty it and pour a newer batch of oil into it. *some*thing.

    i know, i know. this sounds like a completetly trivial thing, but you gotta understand damnit. before this week, our cafeteria had the *best* fucking french fries i have eaten, aside from wendy's and fatburger. it was one of the things i was really excited about when i came back to work at the company four months ago, they are that good.

    now they're making these awful potato finger things that are devoid of any french fry-like taste and instead resemble starch wrapped in tissue paper. i can't stand it. it's disgusting.

    that may sound like one of the lamest things to complain about, i know. but you see, i have all my routines strictly regimented and if anything interrupts these, chaos abounds and i stand there like a bewildered, lost puppy. i can't handle changes in my set patterns. i hafta have french fries for lunch while at work. it's bad enough that monday they were out of chocolate milk. that afternoon just didn't feel the same.

    if you have french fries and chocolate milk, you are seriously my best friend.

    i'm so dead tired that i'm not really even sure that anything in this post is somewhat intelligible. i'll let *you* guys figure out if there is or not instead of my losing any sleep over it.

    i gots me some sugary mountains to go climb.

  • 7.11.2004

    someone set a bad example; made surrender seem alright 

    sitting on my coffee table at this very moment are a bunch of miniDV tapes; the media which will eventually contain the images and sounds for craig and mine's film. it boggles the mind.

    this week has been crazy.

    my employers denied the three weeks time off request. with six different software titles shipping in the next month and half, there was no way they could approve of so much unpaid leave.

    i put in my two and half week notice on wednesday.

    on july 23rd, for the third time, i will no longer be a technical support representative. that knowledge made things easier on friday when i had to endure some moron demanding in a loud voice that he wanted to speak with a supervisor since we should give him a free copy of a game seeing as how he's too fucking dumb to understand what the words "expansion pack" mean.

    we also hit a new daily record on tuesday for calls. 1092 handled. in an eight hour period, with less than fifty people working the phones.

    my brother had to suffer working on his birthday. he was so bummed. i didn't even get to wish him a happy twenty years on his official birthday. when i left for work in the morning, he was still asleep from having worked until closing the night before, and by the time i got home from work, he was on his evening shift.

    we attempted a celebration on thursday night. in several cars full of junk, along with my parents, seamus, some of my brother's best friends, and my brother blindfolded and clueless as to what we were doing, we arrived at a beach just south of pescadero at nine thirty pm to setup our gear, which consisted of: a bbq grill, wooden shipping pallettes to make a bonfire, and an efigy of guy fawkes that was to be lit by a flaming arrow shot from seamus's new bow.

    of course, the parks and recreation guy waited until after we had doused the pallettes and efigy with gasoline, and begun cooking the burgers before he drove up and informed us that the beach was closed and we had to pack up and go home. sheepishly, we dumped the glowing coals onto the sand as dad tried to smooth things over, and after the man had left, we dragged the pallettes and efigy over to the bathroom hut near the parking lot. there was no way we were gonna haul back items that were soaked in gasoline, and it took about fifteen minutes for the grill to cool off enough so that we could pack it into brad's van.

    setback - but not defeated, we all sped home, a few of us reeking of gasoline (and with all the windows in every car down even though it was freezing out) and instead fired up our home grill to finish cooking all the meat and had ourselves a good dinner gathering regardless. later on after midnight, i passed out halfway through a showing of 'manos, the hands of fate,' which most of my brother's friends had never before seen.

    friday night mom, dad and i joined our church youth director for dinner at armadillo willie's. it's this great texas bbq place, but the mood was less than stellar since we were discussing a very messy situation going on at our church.

    if there's one thing certain, it's that churches feed on drama. ours is no different. if it's not one major argument, it's another. the nature of this current war is a rather serious one (police have been involved) and it's getting to the point where a growing number of people are not even really sure they want to be members of this particular congregation anymore.

    that church that i said may be starting up in our living room? it could still happen. sooner than we all were expecting, too. this should be interesting.....

    score! two weeks in a row i got to sleep in on a saturday. that's a better gift than gold! i didn't get out of bed this saturday until ten am. i had planned on blogging friday night, but was too sleepy and instead passed out on my couch with my monitor and all the lights on again until i woke up and shut them off at two am.

    despite my fucking cell phone beeping every half hour to inform me that the battery was just about dead (i gave up trying to find where i had mindlessly tossed it), i slept rather well. didn't have any back pain when i woke up, and i felt rested for the first time since last saturday.

    dad and i shuttled over to leo's to pick up the tapes and a filter pack for the camera, as well as console tape and other accessories. thankfully we didn't need to go north on 880; traffic was backed up for a good twenty miles from a massive car accident.

    lunch was at taxi's burgers (that's three grilled sandwhiches in three days), and the rest of the afternoon and a good part of the evening was spent teaching a friend of mine how to make video game levels for half-life and other quake-engine based games. a microwavable boston market frozen entree, some vice city, and 'whose line is it anyway?' helped to round off the evening rather nicely.

    now it's time for some rush (they were in town friday night, too - damnit i missed it) as i finish up writing, go to sleep, and then work on storyboards for the film tomorrow afternoon after worship.

    i'm gonna try and get back to posting on a more regular basis. ya'll come back here soon now, ya hear?

  • 7.08.2004

    when i think about all i have seen and all i'll never see 

    my lava lamp at work spawned and multiplied.

    sadly, i was given the wrong time as to when the youth band was playing on monday evening over in vallejo. i was told six pm; they *ended* at six pm.

    just as we were arriving.

    son. of. a.

    thankfully, they are really cool and did an extra set of songs just for us. well, after all there was like thirty people in our group and we had driven an hour to go see them. and i got influence with people. plus, they are really cool like that.

    some of you may have seen in the pictures, but i had this red and orange lava lamp on my desk at work that just kinda floated there and didn't really do anything. it was pretty much an amorphous blob that hung suspended in time and space. no real lava type lamp action going on. it was dead to the world and its step-parents.

    well, on tuesday morning i walked in (late by a few moments, i might add - i totally missed the traffic light rotation) and sitting in my lamp frame was the carafe of a blue and green lava lamp. my red and orange lava lamp jar was sitting next to it.

    the green and blue lava lamp works the way a lava lamp should. it's all kinds of groovy with the goo and floating blobs.

    i am at a loss to figure out who exactly replaced my lamp. was it somebody who was sick and tired of staring at a lava lamp that didn't do anything? is it an enemy trying to spook me? do i have a secret admirer who shares my affection for lighting fixtures that have melted wax and oil inside glass jars?

    i might send out an e-mail to the department asking who did it, but i don't really want to spam everybody on our floor. i'll prolly end up inquiring about it from person to person; all sneaky guerilla style and employ my whannabe psuedo cia skillz.

    but in two and a half weeks, it'll be a moot point anyways.

    because i'll no longer be a tech support rep.

    i'll be on my way to becoming a world reknowned cinematographer. :-D

    ........awwwwwww yeah.

  • 7.05.2004

    do what you want to do, and go where you're going to 

    i woke up today at about two fifteen pm.

    sunday morning after church my mom and brother were talking with a good friend out on the reception patio, and at some point the word "fatburger" entered the conversation. in a homer simpson-esque moment, both my sibling and parent looked at each other and said "mmmmm.... fatburger."

    we had been trying to decide all last week what exactly we were gonna do for the fourth of july. should we go see the fireworks at shoreline? or drive up to skyline blvd and see if it's clear enough to watch the colorful explosions from frisco all the way south to san jose?

    as our two vehicles made it home from church (kinda ironic that we take two cars to church when in fact we live about four blocks away - although we leave at different times for different reasons though so it is justified in several ways), my brother looked at my mom and said "i'll pay for the gas if we drive down to redondo beach to watch the fireworks there. they always had the best display."

    now, this may seem like an un-assuming suggestion, aside from the fact that redondo beach is about three hundred and twenty five miles south of where we live. in a lot of places in this country, that's almost two whole states away. a good six hour drive or more, depending on how traffic is flowing.

    without a second thought, my mom turned back towards my brother and said "ok." three hours later (we had made breakfast arrangements before deciding to spontaneously head out of town, and felt it would be rude to cancel them - then we had to pack a day's worth of clothes and check to see if any rental cars were available still - there weren't and we ended up taking the dark knight), we were stuck dead in traffic on 101 south through morgan hill.

    from the start, things appeared grim. we figured that if we got to the i-5 and traffic was backed up there as well, the trip was off and we'd just return home in defeat. it seemed like forever (two hours practically) that it took for us to travel about twenty miles from morgan hill to gilroy, and at highway 152, the road opened up.

    nobody on the road. this was a good sign.

    in the last six years of traveling up and down what i call satan's driveway (interstate 5), i have *never* seen it *that* empty. in the four hours it took us to get to valencia (my brother kept pace with a blue bmw that was ahead of us at between 90 and 100 for most of the way down), we passed by about ten trucks altogether. a quick stop near magic mountain for gas and snacks, and we hit the road towards the 405.

    again, complete and utter surprise. for those of you who aren't familiar with it, the 405 freeway is a disgustingly awful slab of concrete. it's called the san diego freeway despite the fact that it doesn't actually go anywhere near san diego, and even at midnight on the weekends you're likely to find it backed up with horrendous traffic.

    nothing. we flew from the getty museum down to manhattan beach in less than a half hour. it was seriously unbelievable.

    like we were meant to be there that day.

    our plan was to stay and watch the fireworks, crash at a friend's place afterwards, and then drive back home at six the next morning. we all had committments to get to later on today, so we figured it best we leave as soon as possible to beat all the return vacation traffic that was sure to choke the roads.

    we got in at about eight pm, and hooked up with a few friends that were still in town that we were able to reach. we headed down to the ocean, found parking, and joined the literally thousands of people that were lining the beach all the way north up to lax. once it had became dark enough, the shows began.

    sitting a little less than a hundred yards from where we were seated was a barge out on the choppy waves, launching firework after firework. it was so close that you felt the shockwave from each mortar as they were fired up into the night sky, and each burst reflected off the ocean to create a dazzling mirrored display. imagine the fireworks that you see on television - where the cameraman has a telephoto zoom extended all the way and it feels as if you literally could stick your hand out and touch the glitter that's peppering the sky.

    that's pretty much how it was. each firework that went off you felt throughout your whole body, and it was bright enough at times to light up the oceanfront like it was mid-day. it was quite awesome.

    after the show ended, we headed back up through the riveria over to our secondary objective - fatburger. they were super busy, but no matter. we waited patiently for our food. it was going to be awesome as well.

    indeed, it was good to eat there again. i haven't had fatburger in about three months (and before that, a year and a half) so this was quite a treat. the food was good, but i was kinda brought down by the fact that there was this adorable little girl with two very stoned *and* drunk parents. the father kept stumbling around and at one point swaggered into the jukebox, and the mom's eye kept rolling back into her head and more food ended up on her shirt than did in her mouth. the fact that her parents were so far removed from reality gave the little girl the opportunity to lift up the napkin dispenser at their table, then swing it back down on the formica surface, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

    the little girl that was being so rowdy and destructive suprisingly didn't really bother me. what troubled me was that after eating, her parents took her outside; the mom and dad shared a joint for about five minutes, then put their daughter into the backseat of an suv, and drove off with her bouncing around in the back without a seatbelt on. i pray strongly that that little girl made it home safe; yet even if they did, i fear that at some point in time she will become nothing more than a grim statistic anyways seeing as how her parents looked like they were complete and total losers.

    as we finished up our meal, we noticed that every single one of us was wide awake. the excitement of being in southern california again (an un-planned trip at that) was such a wonderfully natural high, that we made the concious decision to drive back *that night* and beat all the traffic altogether. after debating for all of five minutes, we gathered up all the food trays, took care of our trash, said goodbye to the people we had met up with, and hit the road. like theives in the night, we were gone.

    *this time,* the 405 freeway was stop and go all the way back up to the sepulveda pass. we avoided a significant chunk of it by taking the imperial highway north through south los angeles, and then picked the 405 back up through the mountains until we hit the 5 again.

    there was no traffic on the road going northbound at all. coming over the frazier mountains (the same ones that camp el camino pines, where i've gone to help out several times this year is), we could see both the 5 and the 99 off in the distance down in the valley, and southbound for each were just a line of white light from the headlights of motorists heading back towards the sprawling infinitrum of civilization that is los angeles. on the north end of the freeway, we had the road to ourselves.

    every hour or so, a pair of headlights would appear breifly in the rearview and just as quickly disappear ahead of us over the next ridge. we saw less than five trucks actually driving the whole way up until we got back to the 152 pass. at kettleman city, mom and i switched off driving, and dad called in doug's show (one of the rare times we got to hear it live, since doug's show starts at 6am eastern time - yes, that means we were on the road at 3am) to tell him about our trip. naturally our call was put through on the aire and we extended a greeting to his listeners as we sped off down the darkened landscape.

    it wasn't until about five thirty this morning that we got back to our house. just after gilroy, i started getting lightheaded from the exhaustion, and started tapping my feet to stay awake. thankfully i had enough energy to get us back to our driveway, walk in through the front door, and pass out on my couch until earlier this afternoon.

    in about an hour or so, we're gonna go see that youth band that i played with up in tacoma a few weeks ago. they're currently going on a tour of the hometowns of all the bandmembers, and their current electric guitarist lives up in vallejo. they play at his church tonight at six pm.

    i know i'm gonna be a wreck come tomorrow at work, but considering the amount of fun and the adventure we had, it'll be completely worth it. dude; i still have beach sand in my shoes. i'm not dumping it out for a few days at least.

    i'm just wondering what we'll be doing next weekend....

  • 7.04.2004

    i see the torch we all must hold 

    five minutes to midnight on friday and i sat in my room thinking in amazement that this saturday would be the first time in two and a half months that i could relish the luxury of sleeping in.

    finally! after months of commitment after commitment and one hectic schedule to another, and i could catch up on some sorely needed rest.

    catch up did i ever.

    i went to bed at just after midnight and didn't wake up until about almost noon on saturday. the prolonged slumber was sheer bliss. my body is so unused to actually getting more than four hours of sleep that i woke up with a bit of a headache from over-sleeping.

    no matter; i definitely needed the rest. and i get to do it again on monday... ;-)

    spider-man 2 kicked ass. it still kicks ass. it will continue to kick much ass until they make and release spider-man 3 and x-men 3. not only did bruce campbell have a cameo in this film, but sam raimi even threw in a shameless evil dead 2 referrence. as soon as it clicked in my brain as to what he was doing, i nearly jumped out of my seat, so much was i giddy with excitement and glee.

    after the movie, dad and i returned home and went off to our own separate projects. dad began editing some audio stuff for doug, and i listened to rush some more and dreamed of what it may be like if craig and i end up becoming well known big time film-makers.

    i drifted hazily off to sleep with my monitor on again; once did i stir at about four forty-five am or so to get up, switch off my display and shut off all the lights. and set winamp back to the 80's playlist. ;-)

    saturday morning (er, afternoon) i awoke fresh and relaxed, and for no real reason, started cleaning and re-arranging my room. for the last three weeks now especially, it's looked as if an earthquake had scattered everything in my room all over the floor, so i finally took initiative and straightened most everything out. there are still a few piles left over that i hafta go and sort through, but those will wait for another time.

    mid-afternoon saturday, my father, mother and i drove out to walnut creek (actually, i did all the driving) for greg's fourth of july bbq. even though it was only the third, he always holds a huge party every year on the saturday nearest to independence day, so this afternoon it was on. quite a few major names in the radio biz always show up to his annual shin-dig; tom leykis being the most well-known, as well as melanie morgan and a few other famous personalities. it's usually a big who's who of the radio broadcasting world.

    my dad has worked in the radio biz for about thirty-five years, and it's a fairly tight-knit enough community that for the most part pretty much everybody knows everyone else. it's fascinating to listen to my father converse with total strangers and hear how they in fact are connected in some way through many different contacts and referrences. there was tons of great food as always, and very few things are as entertaining as when greg digs out his kareoke machine and attempts to sing along to awful over-played pop hits.

    i could have done without all the wasps and yellow jackets that seemed to be everywhere though.

    another thing i could do quite well without would be the splitting pain in my lower back that i started having after i woke up. i'm not sure exactly where it's from (though i'm suspecting it's from sleeping too long on my couch) but anytime i stooped over to pick something up i felt like somebody was sending an electrical current directly into my spine and i would collapse in sheer agony. this also affected me anytime i stood up from a chair; for a moment i swagger back and forth as if i am drunk, debating mentally if the pain is strong enough to send me reeling back into my seat or if i can fight it off enough to remain standing and gain some equilibrium.

    hopefully this all goes away rather soon. my back had been feeling exceptionally well these past few months.

    fuck. it's two am already. i had planned on going to bed at midnight, but i got into a music craving and had to have a fix. now i'm exhausted and just hoping for this seering pain to stop. hopefully if i sleep on my beck instead of my stomach or side tonight, that might just do the trick. if not, somebody's giving me a back massage cuz this shit blows.

    it may be cliched and all, and some people may even feel guilt or embarrassment or shame at the words given our current social climate, but fuck it: happy fourth of july everyone. :-)

  • 7.01.2004

    now he believes it, the role becomes the actor 

    first things first: thanks to everyone who commented on the last post. of all the people i've talked to, only one has said they thought it would be a dumb move for me to quit my job and go work on the film. while that person made a valid argument (this person always does), i still feel i would prolly beat myself up for not going to do this project.

    no sooner do i mention that one of our concerns is getting the film cast then do we have a swell of like ten people submit requests for auditions - all of them are willing to work for free and have impressive resumes. sweet.

    not too mention the house that we are renting for production, shooting, and living in is literally a stone's throw distance from a film & theater rental house. anything that we need is pretty much a phone call and a three minute walk away. ya gotta love it when some parts of a plan just fall together so smoothly. it truly is a thing of beauty.

    is it just me, or is it supremely awkward when you have to use a restroom at work and another co-worker that you know is already in there using the other stall? i mean, part of life is you just hafta deal with whatever is thrown at ya (so long as it's not bodily waste) but to me, i've always felt very weirded out when a comrade happens to be doing their business.

    it may just be that i'm horribly juvenile (i'll freely admit to that), but it's really hard not to laugh when people start making noises in the bathroom. grunts and other sounds just throw me into a fit of rude laughter. especially this one time - the dude in the next stall over was setting world records for being the noisiest person ever on a commode, and it was all i could do to keep from cracking up. at one point, i happened to let slip a tiny blast of ass, and from behind the wall i heard "that's pretty rude there buddy." i couldn't help it - i was in hysterics the entire time while i finished up and retreated from the facilities. thankfully it wasn't anybody from our department. the nerve of some people....

    or when somebody you know has consumed a few too many garlic onion rings for lunch and you find it difficult to believe that somebody that quiet-mannered and good-natured could emit such a toxic volley of poisonous vapors. that paralyzing fear of terrorists having set off a mustard or serin gas weapon in your office complex, until you realize that somebody is simply unleashing holy hell into a royally unlucky porcelain fixture.

    if at all possible, i try to use the bathroom on the floor below tech support; at least the chances of encountering somebody i work directly with are decreased significantly. really, i could care less if somebody from another department is occupying the space; the likelihood of my running into that person ever again is quite low to non-existant. truthfully, i so encompassingly hate public restrooms in general just based on principle, but i suppose driving five miles home and then back any time i gotta relieve myself is a bit foolish. not too mention, the downstairs facilities are cleaner because (and this could just be a localized issue) tech support geeks seem to have missed out on the whole learning how not to piss on the floor or toilet seat.

    i dunno wtf was up, but on wednesday all of the assholes and fucktards were calling and ruding the hell out of us. it was starting to get really loathesome picking up the phone; every other person had some stick up their ass and didn't seem to realize that being a complete dipshit to a technical support rep doesn't really do any wonders towards getting whatever issue they had solved in an immediate fashion. in fact, several people i downright wanted to hang up on; i couldn't believe that they could be so callous and geniunely disrespectful to a person that was doing their best to offer them a solution to their problems.

    thursday was the opposite - we had very few callers for the majority of the day. it was close to forty minutes into the morning before we even had the first caller enter our queue; otherwise it was pretty much dead. the only time we really had a rush of people was of course when half of the queue was on their lunchbreak, and me and one other guy had to deal with trying to get through forty-five people in one hour. if it's supremely busy and people are waiting an extended amount of time on hold, we'll begin just taking down names and numbers of customers and later on in the day when we're less busy issuing them out to reps on the floor as callbacks. we didn't really get to actually troubleshoot anybody from eleven to noon; everybody that called in was a message/callback because the wait time was outrageously long.

    finally the end to another more or less mediocre week has arrived. hopefully this friday night i'll go see spiderman 2 and drool for two hours as i imagine myself performing unspeakable acts in private with kirsten dunst. then on saturday the family and myself are heading to a good friend of our's bbq over in walnut creek.

    if i don't get around to updating before then, have a great weekend!

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